Brexit Wounds

I might be in the minority here, but I’m not sure this Brexit thing is going to be all that bad for Ireland. You only have to listen to “The New Iron Lady”, Theresa May’s speech to hear the opportunities for us.

Even casual observers can see a border wall (just on the edge of the horizon) as a boon for struggling developers. If Irish planning efficiency has taught us anything, it’s that we can get at least fifteen construction tenders, twenty obscenely expensive architectural designs and a decade or more out of the planning process?

We could have petrol stations running kids colouring competitions; draw your own border checkpoint. The winning entry could be brought to life by Dermot Bannon, in a cacophony of crayon and concrete; the entire block tastefully rimmed with barbed wire. I’m sure some minor celebrity could cut the ribbon in exchange for dual citizenship?

Theresa May has laid out her plan, which is a plan to look at all available plans. She wants to explore all the options available while probably availing of none. Well slap me in the face with a retired judge, this is a job for Ireland Inc.

Sure isn’t Ireland Inc. the best country in the world for making world class plans, to be world class in something or other, by some far off future date? We have panels of experts, who’s entire expertise is in delivering plans on the best way to hold a press conference, where plans are unveiled to deliver new plans by 2020.  Fail to plan, plan to fail, plan for your plans to fail, blame Brexit. Come on Ireland, we can do this!

There’s so much more positives to this Hard Brexit outcome. I mean, due to machinations of Banking, a financial passport is required to carry out complex financial schemes, such as Rate Fixing or Insider Trading. Luckily our Central Bank are very experienced in looking the other way while consumers are gouged. Aren’t we still paying twice the European average in our Mortgage Rates? I hardly think the Big British Banks need fear any constraints on rampant profiteering from Ireland Inc. IDA Ireland could use the tagline (once I get my royalty fee):

Ireland: Come for the Hard Brexit. Stay for the Soft Regulation

Besides, even if the banks and financial arms of the Multinational Companies don’t want to move here physically, we have brave volunteers across the country willing to allow them set up shop for little more than the price of a Brass Plate. Sure isn’t there a house in Glasnevin, Dublin 9 that has 124 “companies” operating from it. 124 companies in a small 3 bed house. We are screaming blue murder about a housing crisis, yet one small suburban house accommodates 124 companies. Airbnb must be dying to get a look inside those doors.

Yes folks, Hard Brexit is going to be okey-dokey. With a little bit of creative thinking, we won’t have to do any more thinking. With a little bit of forward planning, we won’t have to make any more plans. Because this is Ireland Inc. An open economy, and if Britain is getting into the business of becoming a closed economy, then Ireland Inc. is open to that as well.


Tony Groves January 2017

Image result for brexit ireland cartoon

5 thoughts on “Brexit Wounds

  1. Reblogged this on Sid's Blog and commented:
    …”winning entry could be brought to life by Dermot Bannon, in a cacophony of crayon and concrete; the entire block tastefully rimmed with barbed wire”

  2. Tony, the EU is not going to allow Ireland to be a soft regulator for much longer. Tax harmonisation will come back on the agenda soon and Ireland will find its pro-business policies under investigation and attack. I’m convinced that long term Ireland will decide to leave the EU and join a loose alliance between the US, UK and others.

  3. Ms May may well sound nice regarding the free movement, for us. But, if a plane load of Poles (or other EU citizens) arrives in Dublin Airport, get on a bus to Newry who/where/when will they be stopped from entering UK?

  4. The UK is the sixth biggest economy in the world and I find some jovial spirit when economic globalisation, austerity politics, and the immigrant patsy is playing the flop hand. We see posturing, pandering, procrastinating but the sky is not falling, well, not for the UK anyway. Can we say the same for the EU? Few with a brain want the EU to disintegrate, but we are on a troubled path and only people that have one’s head in the sand to not see that.

    Put yourself in the shoes of the Greeks, even us Irish, the Brits that voted out, because the Gov refuse to say, hey, look, we screwed up and we are sorry we ruined a generation or three. The Italians, the Spanish, even the bloody French. People have joked that it will be the ‘Remanians’ and the Germans holding the bag. While that is an overstatement, there is reasoning in the rhetoric. There needs to be understanding that the economic changes of the past 30 years, let alone the past decade, have disadvantaged, if not directly hurt, the life chances of millions of ordinary Europeans. It is no joking matter. It underpins the rise of right-wing populism; that is just a hard, stone cold fact. So while you jest, be jovial, people have full right to be angry, and it is manifesting in votes.

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